“Off-label” use for Candles: the Fine Art of Erotic Hot Wax

Does it Hurt?

The anticipation of Erotic Hot Wax can be as powerful as the drip

The anticipation of Erotic Hot Wax can be as powerful as the drip

Let me get this question out of the way first? Does erotic hot wax hurt??

Short answer: if you have body hair, yes (the removal); if not, it can be modulated at any level between very gentle and very intense.

A beauty of how wax as a form of erotic play is that it’s very, very adjustable – as long as there’s no body hair involved: to make the experience more mellow, simply increase the distance between the body and the candle, and/or use special, low-temperature candles. Some people describe gentle hot-wax play to feel like a “warm tickling sensation.”

Increasing the distance is much easier if the “submissive” (recipient) is lying or kneeling down; in that case, the “dominant” (giver) can probably simply stand up and lift his/her arm up high.

It goes without saying that the eyes and the hair on the head must be completely avoided. Beginners should not get anywhere near the head! Nipples are fine if tolerated, and likewise for the (shaved) pussy area.

Hot Wax as an “Appetizer”

The simplest use for hot wax as a form of erotic play, and a great way for beginners to experiment with it, is as a form of foreplay. (I’m assuming that the recipient is a woman, or a man with no body hair, because if there’s body hair involved then hot wax cannot be a form of light play.)

Indeed, at the erotic film studio where I work, many tend to regard Hot Wax as an “appetizer”, to “tenderize” the submissive before the “main meal”… (Damn, I shouldn’t write posts when I’m hungry!)

If hot wax is the appetizer, what’s the main meal?? I would vote for WHIPPING. As a matter of fact, using whipping to “clear out” the hot wax is very sexy!

On a practical note, hot wax can also come in handy as a “spacer”, when the sub has taken all the spanking, enemas, etc, that she can take for a while.

Last but not least, those candles used for the hot wax, come in very handy for pussy or anal insertion – and that looks especially, ahem, HOT if they’re still lit! Needless to say, use caution for the sake of not hurting the submissive and, last but not least, for the sake of not setting the bed on fire…

Hot Wax as the “Main Meal”

I feel that hot wax – just like bondage – has an aesthetic quality that can be fascinating by itself. Furthermore, the erotic hot wax experience can be made more intense and/or extensive, and gradually transform into less of a foreplay session and more into a main meal.

Nonetheless, I remain under the impression that most people who use hot wax as an erotic experience, combine it with other forms of erotic play.

Getting Warmer…

Before branching out into any form of kinky erotic play, it’s always good to take a look at how others do it. And, besides, hot wax scenes make for very sexy and enticing watching on video. So, let’s say that you want to watch it. Where to find it?

Finding Hot Wax scenes is a great example of “Erotic Information Management”, which as you probably know is a big part of my job.

Hot Wax scenes like those tend to be a “side-dish” in many BDSM studios, easily lost in the shuffle among a lot of other films and other erotic elements. But how to pull together all those hot-wax scenes? Well, that’s where Erotic Information Management comes in handy. For example, here’s a filter that brings together erotic how wax videos shot by the sex movie studio where I work or by other studios that are collaborating with us.

Drip, drip, drip…

For me personally, my tolerance is medium/high, especially if aroused before. I especially love the anticipation of the imminent drip. Just like many others say, I find that the anticipation – especially if my Dom is teasing me about it – is on par in terms of pleasure with the actual skin contact.

I’d love to hear in the comments about your experience. Or, if you’ve never tried it, that’s your homework 🙂

Fetishized Positions : Across the lap (“OTK” – Over the knee)

An Old Classic : Over-the-knee (for spanking, enema, bondage, etc.)

Across the lap (OTK - over the knee) is a quintessential Classic erotic position

Across the lap (OTK – over the knee) is a quintessential Classic erotic position

There’s often a good reason why Classics have attained their status: they’re good! Indeed, one would be hard-pressed not to acknowledge that it’s IRRESISTIBLY SEXY to have a lovely naked person swung across your lap!

When we consider erotic interest and kinks, we often think about erotic activities such as spanking, bondage, enemas, whipping, etc. – but eroticized positions cut across several fetishes. For example, the “OTK (Over-the-knee) POSITION” – often associated with spanking, is also considered by many Kinksters to be perfect for enemas, bondage, masturbation, tickling, hot wax, ice cubes, oiling them up, kissing, fondling, etc. etc.

Some of us – and possibly you! – just love having a submissive across our lap, regardless of what it is we’re doing to them. There’s something simply DELECTABLE about having a vulnerable, naked person across your lap – or being that person! (Since I’m primarily a submissive, I’m typically in the latter category…)

I’m saying “naked” for simplicity, but of course some people love stockings, knee-high socks, shoes, etc.

My point is that many Kinksters feel that there’s something INHERENTLY SEXY about the OTK position itself.

I personally find that the OTK position is a way to spice up just about any scene, with minimal effort. Perfect for quickies! I especially like to be on the receiving end, with handcuffs: it makes be feel deliciously vulnerable, at the mercy of my loving Dom! But on occasion I also like having someone else of my lap…

How to Find that Lap?

On a side note, I work as a co-manager for an adult site, with a specialization in Erotic Information Management. Several people have asked me to clarify what that is all about…

Well, here’s a perfect example of Erotic Information Management : if you happen to be partial to the OTK (across-the-lap) position, for a variety or erotic activities, how do you go about finding video that features that position??

You could sift through site after site, in search of such scenes – which is a slow, involved and expensive process. That’s exactly why our programmer has created a system of indexing and FILTERS. Here’s a filter exactly for Anything with girls OTK (across the lap), explored by multiple studios.

Your lap

Do you find the OTK position sexy? Do you think it deserves to be the Classic it has become?

If you had someone across your lap (or if you were that person), what would you do?

Erotic Kink-of-the-Day

What’s you Favorite Kink?

Kinkster forum about kinks, fetishes, erotic niches

I’m so sorry to have neglected my WordPress blog lately! I’ve been drowning in work… Has the company where you work ever launched a huge project? Then you know exactly what a madhouse it can be… The big project was the launch of the Streamed Video option, to supplement the original Download option. But that’s now in place, and it’s all good! It has been a great project 🙂

Even as I neglected my WordPress blog, I kept very busy on a site called Fetlife – a kinky version of Facebook, for those who may not familiar with it.


In particular, I started a Fetlife group called “1 Kink (Fetish, Niche, Sub-Niche) of the Day”. As you can see from the partial screen shot, a lot of Fetlife users have participated in the discussions, covering over 70 kinks so far.

If you are a Fetlife member, please come visit the 1-Kink-of-the-Day group. If not, you can see the listing of all the kinks/fetishes/erotic niches and sub-niches (no Fetlife membership needed.)

Back to WordPress

Fetlife has been a good place to get immediate feedback on various erotic kinks from many kinksters. I will take the most interesting kinks, and elaborate on them in greater depth in future entries in this WordPress blog 🙂

What’s your Fetish? Any Request?

If you’d like to request that I discuss a particular kink, please look at kink-of-the-day listing. The ones marked with “VIDEO/PHOTO EXAMPLES” are, generally speaking, the ones I’m most familiar with 😀

Erotic Humiliation

What is Erotic Humiliation, really?

Erotic Humiliation, Embarrassment, Shame in Bondage

Rachel gets a heavy taste of Erotic Humiliation when she learns that she has to expel her enema into the bucket below

Fascinating topic! In part, because it has so much to do with a person’s mental state and the way they see themselves. Sexual humiliation can affect a person’s self-confidence, and possibly do some damage to their psyche, if not done correctly. I say this because I myself have experienced humiliating sexual experiences that adversely affected me. It wasn’t until later on that I was able to transition to Erotic Humiliation as a fun, empowering form of play.

I believe that there are 2 fundamentally distinct scenarios, which I will nickname “healthy” and “unhealthy”

“Unhealthy” Erotic Humiliation

Let me get this out of the way first. Earlier in my life, I participated in sex where I was humiliated by a partner who had no respect for me. I was also not in the right state of mind, because I was under the influence of drugs, and did not think highly of myself because I was not happy with where I was in life.

Being in this state of mind state was unhealthy for me. Simple dirty talk, like being called a slut, bitch, or whore, chafed me, rather then turned me on. And activities like being tied up and gagged as punishment, or spanked during sex, made me feel weak rather than aroused. I became very sensitive.

“Healthy” Erotic Humiliation

So, how did I leave my bumpy past behind, and understand the erotic appeal in humiliation? Well, for starters, increasing inner strength and being confident in who I am. Knowing myself, and what I like sexually. Having a clear head, not being under the influence of anything toxic (chemical or negative thoughts). Trust and consent with your partner, and knowing that there is a mutual respect for each other.

Once I was able to acknowledge that these were the elements that I needed to work on and have, I was able to turn things around. The same experiences that used to make me feel embarrassed, reluctant, or even ashamed of myself, now I could do without any fear, doubt, or shame.

Nympha Shifts into High Gear!

I had to confront the above issues head-on when this type of lifestyle was laid out right in front of me, by the studio I now work for. They film erotic adult fetish films, with plenty of Erotic Humiliation Play.

This was a challenge for me. But, after seeing other girls go through similar things as I, I realized that I was not alone and that there were ways of being humiliated where the outcome could be positive and helpful to a person instead of negative. I gave it another try.

With a different mindset and a loving partner that I trusted, the humiliation turned out to be a liberating experience. It freed me from my past, any fears of reject, and cares of what people thought of me. It gave me strength and I felt like I was in control again. That made me feel sexy! Which then made sex even more pleasurable! I know my worth and there is nothing you can do to humiliate me enough to where I think any less of myself. My pride cannot be broken now!

Different Responses

At the studio where I work, we encounter a lot of very different responses.

For example, take enemas, which I discussed in a previous blog entry. Many people find enemas very humiliating. But a second person can do the same identical enema and have a lot of fun, or have another reaction that has nothing to do with humiliation.

Another example: one of the specialties of the studio is intense corporal punishment for schoolgirls sent to “reform school.” The studio even has a site devoted to it, SchoolgirlSexPunishment . A humiliation scene is the bread-and-butter of the schoolgirl punishment genre. HOWEVER, some of the models are absolute Pain Sluts who also happen to love everything thrown at them! They cannot be humiliated, because nothing feels “humiliating” to them.

Julie, hogtied in suspension bondage. Notice the dangling breast pumps

Corporal punishment makes Julie laugh, and ‘humiliation’ appears to turn her on!

A perfect example is the lovely Julie. As the film synopsis says, “corporal punishment makes her laugh and ‘humiliation’ appears to turn her on”. This is not a contrived plot; on the contrary, that was the REAL-LIFE reaction of Julie. Her natural reaction got worked into the plot. She was kept as a charmingly bratty, “un-punishable” character. That’s who she is as a person!

Her reaction is hardly unique. For some people, humiliation is a turn-on; for others, it’s more of a case of, “huh? What’s there to be humiliated about??” In my current, stronger, stage of life and sexuality, I myself tend to be in that latter category 😀

It’s humiliating not to be able to find Humiliation Scenes! 😛

“Humiliation” is also a fascinating category in terms of Erotic Search, which is one of my areas of webmistress work. If watching Humiliation Scenes is your turn-on, where do you go fishing around for them? BDSM sites? Spanking sites? Enema sites? It’s such a broad category that cuts across so many fetishes… Any given scene in a context of BDSM, or spanking, or enemas, etc., may or may not involve humiliation.

If you are a Humiliation fetishist, you may not care how the humiliation is attained: you just care that it comes across as real and substantial.

This is truly a fine example of the power of Erotic Information Management! We created a FILTER that we dubbed “Humiliation/Embarrassment/Shame”. It extracts all (real) Humiliation Scenes, from films shot by us or other studios who work with us.

I’m saying REAL, because if the scene was meant to be humiliating, but the submissive didn’t get at all humiliated, then it’s not included in the filter. You won’t find Julie, for example! 🙂

Food Play

What does Food Play mean to you?

Chocolate cover is the great 'classic' of Food Play!

Chocolate cover is the great ‘classic’ of Food Play!

Perhaps “Food Play” makes you think of a complete chocolate cover, like in this photo…

In truth, I had never been covered up in chocolate, until I started modeling for the studio that I now work as a webmistress for. Not unexpectedly, because that studio is renowned (or infamous?) for its messy scene. 🙂 The cleanup crew have a tough job; they are the unsung heroes of the films!

I’m not sure why I had never played with food much before… Maybe I had lovers who weren’t too adventurous? Or maybe my wild streak hadn’t come out yet? 😀 Well, I had fooled around with whipped cream in the shower, but that was about it.

But food play is more than chocolate cover or playing with whipped cream….

Don’t forget Food Penetrations!

As you probably know by now, I’m obsessed with categories. I guess that’s why I work with Erotic Information Management. 😀 Here’s a list of types of Food Play that come to mind:

  • Pussy food insertions
  • Ass food insertions
  • Deep-throating food items
  • Enemas with food items (for example, milk or orange juice)
  • Chocolate cover
  • Whipped cream fights, etc.

What am I leaving out?? Please tell me in the comments!

Craziest Food Scenes Shot?

I bet you’re wondering about that…. The studio where I work has surely shot some diabolical food scenes! And some of our associated studios are every bit as wild as us 🙂

My craziest food scenes vote goes to:

Don’t even think about clicking on any of the links unless you are of legal age… AND are ready to redefine your experience at the supermarket! 😛

Getting Hungry?

Food play is another fascinating category that cuts across so many genres: softcore, “bizarre penetrations”, enemas, sex scenes, etc.

How to bring it all together? If you’ve followed my other posts, you know that the answer is, as usual, a FILTER FOR FOOD PLAY.

Information age + food play = YUM 😉

Have a snack… and then wipe up your Dirty Mind in the comments!

Body-Part Worship, part 1: Ass Lovers

How do I Love Thee?

Butt Worship for Ass Lovers

Spotlight on the Butt…

Time for my blog to venture into body-part fetishes, starting with the Lovely Ass 🙂

Why are body-part fetishists so enamored of a particular area of the body? Is that because of some life experience? Some images, films, stories, fantasies or stolen glimpses – maybe in one’s formative years?

I don’t have an answer to that, but I find the question fascinating!

Why do I like the Ass?

I like butts because they are esthetically beautiful… And because they are amazingly VERSATILE! They offer the opportunity to indulge in a huge variety of erotic play, such as:

    • Spanking
    • Anal Sex
    • Enemas
    • Butt Plugs
    • Anal Beads
    • Finger Fucking
    • Paddling
    • Caning
    • Whipping
    • Ice cubes
    • Hot wax
    • Licking (all over, or “rimming” the entrance)
    • Suppositories
    • Rectal thermometers
    • Bizarre anal penetrations
    • Specula
    • Diapers
    • Food play (outside or inserted)
    • etc. etc.

Even just kissing or massaging the butt is a lot of fun, feels great and looks fabulous!

And it’s a great body part for exhibitionists (I won’t mention names…) to easily flash with a skirt and skimpy panties, or no panties… :blush:

Discovering a new Erogenous Zone

The BDSM studio where I work as a model and a webmistress, has the word “ASS” in their name (“A Wizard of Ass”)… So, not surprisingly, we shoot just about every type of anal play that one can imagine – and even things you may never have imagined, such as our infamous whole butter-stick insertions, haha!

Many of the prospective models, including myself when I first got started, don’t exactly have the best memories of Ass Play. Typically, girls get turned off to anal play at a young age, courtesy of a clumsy, inexperienced boyfriend! So, a lot of education and gentle re-acquaintance with the butt is needed – and in many case that culminates with a joyous discovery of a new Erogenous Zone.

Heck, it’s not every day that one gets to discover a new Erogenous Zone!! 😀

In a previous blog entry, I elaborated on a particular type of ass play, erotic enemas.

O Ass, lovely Ass, wherefore art thou hiding?

In terms of Erotic Content Search, ass play is a very interesting category… If you are a serious Ass Lover, as many people are, where can you go to find that kind of content you love? Spanking sites? Enema sites? Butt-fuck sites? Medical sites? BDSM sites? That’s all over the map!

That’s where Erotic Information Management comes to the rescue (as usual!) For example, at at the company where I work, we created a FILTER that we dubbed “Ass Lover’s Delight”, bringing together spanking, anal sex, enemas, ass insertions, etc. etc. – basically, just about all the types of Butt Play, some shot by us and some by other studios.

Share your Ass(ets)

Are you an Ass Lover? Why? What do you like to do, or to have done to do? Are you new to butt play? What have I left out in my long list above?

Please elaborate in the comments 😀

Put WHAT in WHERE?!? What are Erotic Enemas?

An Intro to Erotic Enemas

sexy schoolgirl in suspension bondage

A sexy, tender moment in an enema…

Something is fundamentally different about erotic enemas from various other “kinky” erotic activities that I’ve discussed in past blogs, such as bondage or spanking… Whereas EVERYONE has some concept about things like bondage and spanking, an awful lot of people are completely CLUELESS about Erotic Enemas.

Well, not toooo long ago, I belonged to that clueless crowd myself :blush:

I had a vague concept about enemas as “something to do on a utilitarian basis for constipation”, or at most as a preliminary cleanup for Anal Sex…

My perception of many things changed quite radically when I started working as a model for a BDSM film studio, as detailed in a past blog entry. One such big change turned out to be, very unexpectedly, my understanding of what Erotic Enemas are – or even the fact that such a thing exists!

To my surprise, I kind of liked enemas right away… And then they progressively grew on me even more.

Perhaps even more surprising to me has been the sheer numbers of other girls who start with immense skepticism about enemas – and then, bang, BIG ORGASM, mid-enema!! It happens semi-predictably in a LARGE, LARGE NUMBER OF CASES, in the films we shoot, in pre-film enemas, in “enema tests”, and in personal play…


So, WHAT are Erotic Enemas, then?

They can be simple or crazyass complex (no pun intended, hehe.) A simple enema bag while lying on the bed, or some monster inflatable nozzle while tied up in some impossible position.

The fantasy (or role-play) behind Erotic Enemas can be minimal, or it typically can be medical, or punishment, or submission/surrender, or simply pleasure. Yes, you heard right: PLEASURE!

Contrary to popular imagination, Enemas can be a tool of Pleasure, when done right. In fact, more than that, there are a very effective Pleasure Tool, even in people who don’t have any interest in them. And, yes, in women, too. You don’t need a prostrate to derive pleasure from enemas! Remember all those girls having orgasms I mentioned a few paragraphs ago? 😉 I’m talking about scores and scores of them!

I might summarize Erotic Enemas as “a powerful new erogenous zone”.

Even in people who have no fetishistic interest in enemas.

Even in people who aren’t into anal sexuality.

Heck, even in people who are scared shitless of enemas! Pardon the pun 🙂

Speaking of “shit”, that’s one thing that Erotic Enemas are NOT about. Counter-intuitive, I know. But, unless you happen to be a scat fetishist, then fecal matter has no direct connection to erotic enemas.


What’s an Erotic Enema “done right”?

Erotic Enemas “done right” involve relaxation, lube, masturbation, pacing, an enema device (a simple bag works great), and above all a comforting giver (possibly oneself). For details, techniques and safety matters, let me refer you to a great Enema 101 How-To Guide, expertly written by the BDSM studio I work for.

When the enema is done right, typically there’s no pain nor discomfort – and the feeling is very stimulating! Add good masturbation, and a great orgasm is almost guaranteed 🙂 Did I say an orgasm? If you’re a girl, change that to many!

The Director of the BDSM video & photo company where I now work as a webmistress, tells me that one of his favorite elements in taking the “enema cherry” (as he likes to put it!) is the “doe-eyed expression” of that girl afterwards – as if to say, “How is it possible that I just had a Big Orgasm? I had said earlier that I don’t even like anal play, and I had also said that I thought enemas were just a ‘weird concept’!”

Well, guess what – one of those girls was me 🙂

I thought it was something about me… Until I saw girl after girl having virtually identical reactions. Of course, not everyone turns out be an enema lover – but my point is that surprisingly large numbers of people do.

It turns out that Enema scenes are very popular with our audience. In fact, part of our “Erotic Information Management” mission has led us to create a whole family of special filters to extract all enemas scenes from all our videos, as well as even more specialized filters for Pleasure Enemas, Enemas With Bondage, Enemas Without Bondage, etc, etc.

Those scenes are very intimate and powerful; so, their popularity isn’t surprising. What is surprising is how many people – including myself in the past – are so much in the dark about a very powerful erotic tool that essentially amounts to a whole new Erogenous zone. Most of our models are first-timers; so, we have to do a lot of education.

Well, discovering a whole new Erogenous zone is a very worthwhile discovery, in my book!! 🙂